UGH.

(crappy sketch comics for the win)

I wouldn't be upset if this is what had actually happened.
Instead, it turned into a situation where I was the only one who said anything at all, and I had no clue how to handle the whole mess, and my brain was in shut-down-and-panic mode. I realize that I probably should've brought up a common interest or something, but that doesn't do me any good now. Mostly my focus was, "Don't compare them, don't compare them, don't compare them!" and, "AUGH!"

Haha, I'm terrible with people! =D


Also-
Update:
I basically officially have the job in Arizona.
All I need to do is sign the contract when it gets here via the mail, and I'll be set.

SO INCREDIBLY STOKED.

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

(PS-
I started reading the sketch comic thing as if it were a manga, and I confused myself. This is probably a sign that I should lay off on that for a while...)

ten! honest things.

Tagged by Alia! I was going to write a poem with the honest things, but it would've ended up being long and I feel as if I have too many poems about myself anyways.
You know, it's interesting that the word "tagged" has been taken from a kids' game & applied to this action, since it fits in a way and everything, but anyways. Right.

1- I have this weird way of either over thinking everything I say, or not thinking at all before I say something. There's no happy medium. So most of the time I end up looking either quiet/ shy, or a little ditsy/ weird.

2- I actually love cleaning. This was something I didn't even realize until I was listening happily to my ipod while scrubbing stairs with a toothbrush. MVA did strange things to me.

3- Whenever I say something mean, I feel really guilty about it; whether the person deserves it or not. So I end up never saying most of the mean things that I'm thinking.

4- Of my many weaknesses, my problems with motivation are the worst. It's not that I have a lack of motivation- I'm just motivated towards the wrong things. For example, cleaning the kitchen so I can bake cookies, as opposed to doing my homework so I can get good grades. Maybe it's more of a priority problem, actually.

5- I don't believe in soulmates. I believe that, in the capacity of a friend, there can be someone who seems like they're a part of you. But I think romance is a totally different field.

6- This might not sound totally believable, but I have a scientific mind. I enjoy knowing things; how things happen, for what purpose they happen, what causes them to happen... It's not that I'm distanced emotionally, it's just that I have to examine some emotions before I can admit to them.

7- With absolutely no exaggeration, I tell you that I am addicted to music. I tried to give it up once, for a few days: It nearly drove me crazy.

8- When I envision people in my head, they're smiling and laughing, almost always. Unless I REALLY dislike them.

9- Cookie dough tastes better to me than the actual cookies, most of the time.

10- Augh, I can't think of any more. Ummmmmmm... ? I'm terrified to fall in love.


---
WOW, that was harder than I thought it would be. Partly because most of the things I was going to put down could be inferred after spending 10 minutes with me.

Thought I might update-

There's a large possibility that I'll be going to Arizona to be an assistant girls' dean at a boarding school there.

I'm about 2/3 excited, and 1/3 everything else.

So. Ah. Well, then.

Still lacking in direction & motivation & all those things that other people seem to have, but I've survived thus far.



My current thoughts are:

Is it so bad to be absorbed in the moment, and not worry about the future?

Is it selfish of me not to care?

Would I be happier if I stopped thinking so deeply?




DID YOU KNOW-
You don't think in words all the time, which is why it's so hard to describe something you were positive that you had figured out in your head.
This interesting & useless fact brought to you by my psychology professor.

not to make you worry or anything,

but I don't really recognize myself anymore.

I think I'm going to need to figure that out soon, sometime this weekend maybe.

I'll put it on the To Do List

(above 'do homework' and below 'get a job'.)

Pardon me, ma'am-

-but did I hear you say that you needed help decorating your house for Christmas?

...

My friend has a rich grandmother, and I got paid to have fun decorating.
Love love love love love.

So confused...

ISFP= me.

I appreciate your help, but I'm not broken thankyouverymuch.


Anyways, I've got a tumblr now & I love it verymuch, buuuuut...
It's so confusing. I need a tutorial. For serious, I have no idea how to do anything except follow & publish a post.