Thursday, November 22, 2012

Do I have a brain tumor or something?

The question of my past year.
What the heck is wrong with my brain?
Dyslexia is certainly high on the list of possibilities, because my father has it. Also my entire family has AD[H]D, so that definitely doesn't help.
I need to talk to my friend Kristy about this, she could give me some dyslexic-to-dyslexic talk...
My problem isn't really with the writing and spelling. I mean, not so obviously. It shows up sometimes, but mostly I have problems talking and hearing things.
I did some looking around, and apparently dyslexia can manifest as auditory dyslexia and verbal dyslexia. I didn't really realize I had a big problem until I worked at a pizza restaurant, and I had to take orders over the phone. I've always had problems distinguishing words when there's ambient noise going on in the background, but it was especially bad there. It didn't seem like people were speaking English to me sometimes! Someone would spell their name, "W-I-L-L-O-W!" and I would translate it as "Y-A-R-R-L-Y!" Letters would get mixed up phonetically in my mind. The worst ones were always W, R, L, Y, O, N, P... Basically half the alphabet. I had to make up my own way of dealing with it- I would repeat the sound of the letter that someone was saying, over and over- "double you eye ell ell oh double you" and break down each letter individually. "Okay, double you means W, eye means I, ell means? L!" and so forth. I started to feel really dumb! It was discouraging. It still is!
Here's what really gets me, though.
I can't remember it being this bad when I was a kid.
I mean, maybe it was. My memory isn't that reliable! But I can't remember really struggling like this. It seems to be getting worse! Why? I keep wondering. Am I just now starting to question the things that I thought were normal? Or are they actually getting worse?

Also my father just walked in as I was writing this and we had a semi-infurating discussion about a small part of this and the only thing we settled is that my entire family has Brain Problems. Thank you.


Brain Problems Suck
(oh my gosh you would not believe how long it took to type all this I am not feeling well I am going to stop)

No comments: