Monday, October 31, 2011

smile! OR ELSE

Normally I have some pretty great dreams, but lately I've been having really bad ones and they tend to follow me around all day afterwards.
Like last night I had a dream that I was working undercover as the assistant to this psycho sadistic lady who kidnaps people and makes them her slaves, and my team & I were caught (which was horrible in and of itself). Then I managed to escape after one of her "visits" to the place where she kept us, and I hitchhiked to the closest town (we were in Mexico?) and prepared as much as I could to go back and free everyone else. So I go back, get in, and I've opened the door & I'm about to go out & she's standing there, waiting for me! And to get back at me she starts mentally torturing this other girl I don't even know, and it's just awful, so I start begging and crying and making up perfectly reasonable excuses as to why I left, such as "I was just so hungry, I needed food, I needed to see trees and talk to people who aren't mentally broken" etc. etc. and so on. I was one of her "favorites", so she started to believe me a little and I wrapped myself around the crying girl and started rocking her, saying "It's alright, she won't hurt you anymore, I'm here, I'll protect you, it's alright, sshhhhh," and I was crying because I was still begging psycho lady to "Stop, please stop, don't hurt her because of me, please stop!"

I woke up almost crying.

Because I need to not have bad dreams anymore.

Friday, October 28, 2011

(sadstuck fanart)

I just have this headcanon that Aradia makes a few rounds among the dream bubbles and sort of... Comforts the other trolls? Except she doesn't really say things like, "It'll be alright," or anything like that, but she'll be very honest and maybe just say things like "What's done is done, there's nothing we can do to change it now, might as well let go." Or something like this scene.
Vriska just gives me so many feelings.


Friday, October 21, 2011

nada nada, limonada

As a general rule, I learn basic rules and information quickly. How to bake cookies, or work the register, the names of most of the bones in the human body. But really, I'm just good at memorizing things. When it comes down to things like, "Genevieve, how do you feel about this sudden development of complicated events happening?" I just sort of throw my mental hands in the air (sometimes my physical hands too). Really, I am like molasses in that respect.
There's really no point in me blogging about this, since I'm pretty sure my friends were aware of this before I was, except that I'm really frustrated with what's going on in my life right now and I don't really want to talk about it because I still have no idea what's going on because it's taking me forever to pick things apart thoroughly and figure everything out.


I'm actually kinda proud of these? Because I've decided to take everything that I'm not good at, art-wise, and then focus on it until I am at a semi-passable skill level. Next up is hands.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

(new mantra)

Okay, so I have this thing where I get songs stuck in my head. That's normal. But without fail, the songs somehow reflect what's going on- how I'm feeling, what I'm thinking, the situation that I'm in, etc. I don't even realize what I'm thinking/ feeling until the song pops into my head, sometimes. It's uncanny, and I feel as if my subconscious has started to communicate via music and lyrics.
Which is funny now that I think about the dream I had a month or so ago, where I was singing "Dancing Queen". Hahaha!
But that's slightly different.


I really love this song, and it's been stuck in my head since I heard it the other day.

Also, I feel a little guilty? because I haven't uploaded any sketches for a while, and I really want to do it just for myself but my sketchbook got left behind in GA/TN and our scanner isn't working so I am left with a small collection of old things I never posted.

This sketch, as you may be able to see, is dated from the 1st of April. I was yearning for winter and snow after months of Southwest living, but... Yeah. I settled for a cute doodle.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Disenchanted (skip if you don't like politics?)

It's so difficult to even form sentences and paragraphs into a coherent manner.
I'm sick of listening to my parents' ignorance. When you rely on your news from one source, how biased do you think your information is going to be? Just the simple way that a sentence is put together, switching words around, etc., can achieve a unique effect.
The other day we were all peacefully sitting in the living room, reading our own things and listening to our own music, when my father laughs and says, "Listen to this!" and proceeds to say something about the stupid hippies getting arrested. I don't remember his exact words, but it was something along those lines. I stopped. Surely he couldn't be talking about the Occupy Wall Street movement, I thought. I asked him to be sure, and he said that he did, in fact, mean just that. He then went on in such a manner, paraphrasing from the article that he was reading from. "NO. STOP," was all I could think to say, in one of my rare moments of brilliant word-planning.
We then proceeded to have an argument, during which he made it very clear that he had no idea what he was talking about. I'm not saying that I know everything there is to know about Occupy Wall Street, but I knew a sight more than he did. I walked away after I began to resort to screaming, waited until I thought he had forgotten about it, and came back to my book. He tried to bring it up again, I tried to ignore him, he kept going, I started yelling again, and then I walked away again.
I could hear him watching the video that shows the female protestors getting penned up and pepper sprayed. At the end he was silent for a moment before saying, "Well they obviously deserved it."

I just can't look at him without being consumed with frustration at this point.
He hasn't brought it up since then, which I'm grateful for, but at the same time I have no idea if he's actually given any real thought to what's happening here. It's important to me that my family, at least, has some idea about what's going on here. Normally I'm not very interested in politics or anything to do with them, but I care about this.
I also have no idea how to channel this sudden burst of caring about what's going on.


I don't even know.

a personal account from one of the protestors
Occupy Wall St website
CNN article
MetroFocus articles
ABC article
The Atlantic article (this one has some good pictures)
The articles that I read on the Fox site are confusing to me, but you can look at them if you'd like. One of them was more concerned about "left" or "right", which is stupid, and a few of them were just assuming things without much of a basis at all.