Saturday, June 30, 2007

Kinda sucks, but not really.

Is it just me?
I mean, all teenagers have freaky mood swings, and one of the many symptoms of ADD can be mood swings and I never take my adderal...
Add it all up I'm a teenage girl with ADD.
Not very promising.

So, anywho.

Life has been pretty decent other than that.

Nobody died, or was injured...

I'm just aching to see Amelie and Love Me If You Dare. / j'eux d'enfants, but I don't know if I spelled that right.

Both of which are awesome movies, despite being French.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

At school...

When in Reynoldsburg, do as the Reynoldsburgians do.

I'm in the computer lab of the high school... their computers are so much better than ours! We have old rejects from another elementary, while these guys have widescreen moniters, all flat and everything. I'm jealous.


life is as complicated, still.

Oh well.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Well, that kinda sucks.

Ahm... Ok, something really bad just happened, but you won't get it unless I do a little bit of back tracking.

Meg, my best friend/ roomie, had a HUGE crush on another friend, Lance. In fact, it was a general consensus that the only reason they weren't sucking face everywhere dating was because they "didn't want to ruin the friendship". When school ended, Meg tried to keep in touch with Lance until he told Sami (another friend) that Meg was being too clingy and he didn't like her. Of course, Sami immediately relayed this info to Meg, who proceeded to freak out. So, Lance basically crushed Meg's heart. When school started up again, they were still friends, but... Meg was still crushing somewhat on Lance. She still is.
Until now, I think.

Because this year, Meg & I formed a close knit trio with a new girl, Chelsea. She basically lived in our room.
And now...

Chelsea and Lance are...
officially dating as soon as school starts again.

Lance told me, and I started freaking out to Meg & told her to ask Chelsea if there was anything she needed to say.
And now, Meg hates Chelsea.
And probably me.

So, Junior year is going to start off very hatefully.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Mistress of Spice[s?]

Americans take so long to catch on to great things that aren't, well, American.

What can I say, it's our loss.

Anyways, before I develop any more country loathing (while still loving Ohio, ironically)...

My parents got a hold of this movie, Mistress of Spices, except I'm not sure if it's spice or spices. My dad's no help, that's for sure.

Anywho, it's got that amazing Bollywood actress in it. I'm officially in love with her. While the idea of magical spices seems a little odd... I love it.

So... that's about it.

Besides summer school, there's not that much to talk about.

Friday, June 22, 2007


Yeah, I skipped school today (I still made a poem! It's at the bottom)

It was worth it, to see family.

Uncle Danny, Sammy, Bert, Aunt Cathy, Joan, Erin, Timmy, Aunt Tina, Summer, Ana, and Nonna. I underlined some names, because those are the ones that are going to be heading to Texas and therefore won't be seen in a long time. OH! And Sieanna showed up, too. We were actually all crowded in the kitchen, complaining about how Sieanna never calls or anything when she walked in.

Then we walked to Starbucks. Erin & Joan said it was "just around the corner," when in reality it was around many corners, and about a six mile walk round-trip. It was fun though, I haven't seen any of the cousins for a long time. Too bad little David wasn't there.

Anywho, here's the poem I forced upon myself- 3 lines, 7 beats per, subject= sunlight
so we shake off winter coats
and lie down in the sunlight,
darkened, like solar panels.

Thursday, June 21, 2007


This one is 7 lines, 6 beats per- subject= color.
We were silent when I
found you facsinated
by the colors in my
eyes, staring as if you had
been captured. Later, when
I asked, you denied it.

I think I'm going to post a poem every day. I just feel more calm that way. More settled, like there are less things buzzing around my head demanding to be said.

Look at me, I'm rhyming already!


dammit, there I go again...

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Freaky _______ Eyes

"Wishing doesn't bring
back anyone or
anything," she sighed.
[introspective pause]
Then she said, laughing
(ironically), "But
I just wish it did."

Thought up during summer school. As brain openers, the teacher was giving us a set number of lines, syllables per line, and subject. This one is 7 lines, 5 beats per, Wishing.

My head is throbbing. I've been drinking water, so it's not dehydration. But it hurts my eyes, like it's hard to move and focus them. And the back of my head feels like a sponge that someone is squeezing all the water out of. Squish, squeeze, BOOM! Like that. Especially if I move to quick (and not just blood rushing dizzy). Yeah... now it feels like I'm gonna faint. The fuzzy heavy blanket thing.


So, I started reading Lord of the Flies the other day, as well as Freaky Green Eyes, Wicked, and another book I don't remember the name of. I have this habit of starting a bunch of books at once after not reading for a while...

If you've read any of those books, can you imagine reading all three at once?
My brain is about to explode from being opened up (if that makes any sense).

It's just...and now, for an impromptu explanation/ book review...
Lord of the Flies.
Somewhat dullish at first, but very... I want to say interactive. The way it's written, I can feel what's happening. Engaging. It took me a while to get the characters straight. There are so many being developed at once! But I love it. Especially the "Beast" bit, and the pig head/ Satan thing (very weird, but philisophical in a way).
Freaky Green Eyes.
I've read this book before, but it was a long time ago. I always get something from the books that I like, and now that I'm about the character's age, and all this stuff is happening in my life... So many parallels, what with the parents at war, and... Yeah. I love the way she thinks- the images her words evoke are vivid, as clear as if I were there.

and I haven't gotten very far in Wicked, so I won't bother trying to explain anything quite yet.

Sunday, June 17, 2007


I'm angry angry angry angry angry angry angry angry...

Why is my little sister so...?

Mom and Dad have both told her multiple times not to roleplay. She does it anyways. I confronted her about it when she was starting a new one, and she said, "So? I don't care." She's already set up with more than six, and she was signing up for a seventh.

I tried to stop her, and now I'm bleeding.

And that's not all!
Summer (my cousin) visited while I was away the other day, and Allison took her into my room and "showed her around", which obviously entails getting onto MY computer for half an hour, messing with my photos and my music, then stealing things from me.

It's not as if this is the first time she's stolen things.

A long time ago, when I was going through a phase of "try to be nice to her and maybe she'll be nice back," I asked her why she stole from me.
Her reply was, and I quote, "If I see something I want, I take it."


Okay, I'm done.

Easton With Nick...
Well, his dad drove us there and was actually at Easton the entire time, but we went to see the new Fantastic Four movie. He held my hand, but when he tried to do the "arm around you shoulder" thing I explained that it wasn't comfortable. I guess that's not quite laying down the law... Since I let him hold my hand...
Really, my mind was screaming, "Get your hands offa me punk!" but I was just like, "Huh? Oh...kay?"
Other than that bit, it was fun. His dad was hilarious!
I learned a lot about cars, too.

Saturday, June 16, 2007


Somehow ended up like this.
Nick's dad is going to take drop us off at Easton, and we're going to see a movie and chill.

So far, any of my friends that I've ranted to about the whole thing has threatened his health in some way. Eric wanted to castrate him, but I assured Eric that I had the means to settle the dispute in a nonviolent manner.
Which I hope I don't have to do, but...

Come on, I'm not that naive. Movie? Right. More like "sitting down in the dark and using the movie as an excuse to lay down the moves".


I think I'm going to have to "lay down some rules," as Sieanna puts it.

Monday, June 11, 2007

It's all good now

Yeah, guess what happened?

Dad & Mom came up to me last night and just said, "Yeah, you don't have to worry about anything anymore. It's all good now."


I had come to accept it and even welcome it. The school might have given us another scholarship or something, and I would've gotten to join this counseling group that a bunch of my friends are in. Which would be awesome.
Plus, I had already told everyone.
And now I'll be unable to believe anything that either of them says, ever.

So, to me, they are as good as divorced.

In other news...

I still haven't eaten anything yet, but it's only noon.

I feel like I'm narrating some sort of comic book...


Oh, and I finally ate something.

Yay, curry!

Sunday, June 10, 2007

later that day...

I have come to realize something.

That something that I have come to realize is this-

BOTH of my parents are COMPLETE IDIOTS.

My dad twists everything around until it serves its purpose, half lying almost constantly.
For instance.
He called me today while he was at work, and said I could finish painting the hallway if I wanted to. I asked him about going to Becca's graduation party, and he said if somebody other than me wanted to go to, then sure.

So I painted the hallway. Not only the hallway, but also the front entryway and the doorway.
I asked Allison, and she said she wanted to go too.
So he comes home, and has a hissy fit.
"Why aren't the dishes done? Why are you watching TV? Your rooms are messy," etc. etc.
When I asked him about going to Becca's, he got even angrier and started shouting about how he had said "MAYBE" and that he would have taken us had we not been sitting in front of the TV, doing nothing.

So, if we had taken a longer time painting, or even started later, we would have been perfectly fine by his reasoning. We would be doing the same amount of work, but he wouldn't see us taking a break so it's okay.

Puts up this huge front of being happy and all this jazz even though we all know she's been clinically depressed forever. She whines that Dad never does anything around the house, and how she works so much, yadda yadda.
She goes in to work around 2 pm, and comes home at 9 pm. Sometimes she'll take on extra hours that she doesn't want, but this is entirely HER fault since she "can't say no". When she gets home, she gets on the computer and plays around with her sex stories and games on neopets. She spends money to make herself happy, so she ends up buying TONS of junky books online. Not just any books- sex books.
It's disgusting. She's my mom. I know that she's a person too, but as a mother one should have to take responsibility for these kinds of things, right? I don't want my 11 year-old brother to see your sex books, dildoes, and "warming jelly" all over the place, okay? I want you to stop wearing my clothes, because 1) they're tight and you're fat, and 2) they're my clothes, and I intended to wear them, until I saw you in them and decided that I want nothing to do with those clothes anymore.

Honestly, it's not rocket science.

You're getting a divorce because you're unhappy.


I have more to say, but I think that's enough before I bust a blood vessel or something.

My brain is shaking.

That makes no sense, I know.

I have quite a bit to spill. Being abducted earlier this week, then the whole household party thing yesterday.

I'll start with the abduction.
(that sounds weird?)
Well, Ashley called me wednesday or thursday night and told me to be ready in ten minutes. I was halfway through pulling on pants when Allison screamed that they were already here (this took about 2 minutes). Then I ran outside and hopped in the back of Cody's truck, finding a very inebriated Chelsea [Back]. Which was interesting, because I learned later that no one had seen Chelsea drunk before, most likely because Chelsea hadn't been drunk before. Ashley had somehow conned Chelsea into drinking 10 shots of vodka. 1) I barely knew anyone there, and 2) being around a drunk Chelsea is like trying to keep a dizzy, ADHD 6 year old away from a cliff that just so happened to be covered in bright, sparkly flowers that smelled good. I don't know if that makes sense to you, but I'll put it into easy speak- IT WAS HARD. So, I got tired of that scene pretty quick and walked home around 11:30.

Next, the household party.
For some odd reason, Dad thought it would take like, two hours to get to Talymar's house, so we got there an hour early. I chilled in front of the TV with Mark, like all teenagers do, and we watched The Jerk on comedy central. Then Becca came, and then NICK showed up. Nick was one of the friends I made at Pennsic, and he had also been in the same camp so that was cool. Then the four of us went upstairs to chill. We played poker, talked, yadda yadda. Then we moved into Mark's room cause his bed was bigger and less breakable. After becoming comfy, I noticed something strange- NICK HAD DECIDED THAT MY LAP WAS A PERFECT PLACE FOR HIS HEAD. I was not so concerned at first, since I had a pillow on my lap so it wasn't really direct. But then he tried to hold my hand, and began stroking my thigh. Um, awkward? Since the last time I saw him he was SUCKING FACE WITH ANOTHER GIRL, Gwen, which just so happens to sound like Gen which is my name, so we got confused a lot and anyways... So, yeah. From that point on, he began to hardcore HIT ON ME. No joke. Like, he took my chair and when I came back he pulled me on top of his lap. And not just normal "friendly using your knee as a seat" kinda sitting, he pulled me back so I was like fully leaning on him like a human blanket or something. I tried to run away, but he "subtly" followed me. HELL NO! When will guys understand that I am not playing hard to get? I either don't want you to hit on me or I'm shy. It's most likely the shy thing, but in this instance all I was thinking was, "GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY GET AWAY GETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAYGETAWAAAAAAAAY!" and it really wasn't me being shy. I tried to take Becca aside and ask her about what to do, but she was completely not helpful. UGH.
But, there were funny parts too! Like when everyone started stealing Becca's strawberries (which may have factored in to the extreme horniness).
So, Becca's really sheltered, and earlier when we were all watching The Jerk, Mark and Nick were joking around about "jerk circles". Becca, of course, didn't get it. Later, on the bed, Becca brought it up. Mark and Nick were too afraid to explain it, so I had to be the man and come out and say it. This eventually led to more innuendo conversation between Mark, Nick, and I, none of which Becca got. So while Mark was up, he just turned to her and explained, "SEX." Just like that. And there were all these little kids in the room, and one of them SCREAMED as if he had just been burned or something. It was hilarious. And later, he did about the same thing when Nick and I were exchanging innuendo about condoms, and Becca (duh) didn't get it, so Mark had to just come out and say, "CONDOM."
Let's just say that I'm laughing hysterically just typing about it, Michael and Allison giving me odd looks frmot he otehr room.

Okay, that's about it for catching up.

Today I had a bowl of KIX and half a thing of OREOS.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

c'est la vie

I hate French.

Okay, sooooooooooo...
I was going to talk to my mom about the whole divorce thing, really.
I had a little angry tirade note thing going on, as well as a story-version thing of how it all happened (to get rid of my excess angry creative energies).
But I was distracted.
By the corset.
Let me just say that when your waist is 25 inches, the occasion had damn well be worth it.
Which it wasn't, since I was only trying it on to distract myself.
But damn are those things painful awesome or what?

Awww, man.
I'm having another mood swing.

You know what... being ADD sucks.

So, anyways.

Spent the night at Amy's last night.

We talked about it, in our own special way. Then we watched Ferris Bueller's Day Off, one of the ultimate feel good movies.

"Danke schoen, darling, danke schoen..."


I've said that Dad has a new job. It pays more, the hours are better, and he's doing something tha he enjoys doing. So I couldn't, for the life of me, think of why he looked so sad and tired.
So I asked him.

Mom wants a divorce.

And this isn't the first time she's asked for one.

How's that for life?

Sunday, June 3, 2007

Unorthodox Paradox

I hate "fashion", the absurd creation of fads that only the "hip" and "trendy" follow, as they look down upon or pity anyone real enough to not rely on fashion as a means of existence (or even those that can't afford it). The ridiculous and mostly impossible designs that belittle anyone without the means to achieve the "perfect" look, a standard that only the "learned" and extremely malnourished can succeed in setting.
It's just... AGH! My vocabulary fails me.

Okay, back to normal (which, for the record, isn't normal at all).

Finally saw Amy today. We both act as if nothing has changed.
I feel like I'm in the period right before I realize that nothing is the same as it was before. See, I realize that things are changing, but they aren't completely changed yet. I still have some time before time.
I've got that song stuck in my head, now.
"Suddenly, everything has changed..."
How perfect.

Now my brain is spasm-ing.

I've been having some really strange dreams. Of course, they've faded away now. I remember them when I first wake up, but as the day goes on I remember less and less until I'm left with only the impression that it was abnormal.
I only remember the dreams I write down (which, make no mistake, is a LOT).

I'm going to go listen to my new Mika CD now.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Happy Sabbath!

Went to church today. Which somehow reminds me about how I didn't write about going to Aunt Cathy's house memorial day. Her kids are like, half human half DEMON CHILDREN. Her youngest kid (only son) is a 100% spoiled demon, though.
Cathy, Allison (my younger sister), Erin (Aunt Cathy's third youngest), and I went bike riding to a pond a bit away from their house to go fishing. Actually, it was mostly just Erin and I since Allison knows crap about fishing and Aunt Cathy is a wuss. Anyways--- while we were biking there, I was talking to Aunt Cathy about Mount Vernon and she asked me, "Do you believe in God?"Can you imagine what I was thinking? It was something between, "...!" and “ohmygoshareyoujoking?ijustsohappentobetalkingaboutmyCHRISTIANboardingschoolwhereIstudytheBIBLEandlearnaboutELLENWHITEamajorprophetwhich,Ishouldnote,nootherprotestantchurchHASandwhileIamawareyouareCATHOLICIwasn’texpectingyoutobeSTUPIDandfurthermore-” and it just kinda went on like that.
What actually came out of my mouth was, "YES."


I guess it just seemed fitting that I share that little bit of info with you on the Sabbath.

Oh, and we now have ketchup and tofu, even grape juice and ice cream~

Life is complete.

Friday, June 1, 2007

Still craving tofu

Yes, that damned elusive...tofu. No pimpernels here.

So, I went to Dairy Queen (DQ) last night.
Guess who works there?
That's right- Zach does!

Of course, I knew that before I went... And I only got to see him long enough for a hug and, "Oh my god I haven't seen you in forever!"
But still.

थिस इस सो कूल। ऍम ई व्रितिंग इंग्लिश ओर नोंसेंसे स्तुफ्फ?

Just having a bit of fun with that button.

Right, back to what I was doing before being distracted.
What was I doing?

Oh, right.
I made Mom buy ketchup today so I can eat my grillers happily.
Then I got home and put a griller on the frying pan with some olive oil, green onions, green pepper, and just a little bit of garlic. Then I put it all on some toast with ketchup, and now I'm a very happy teenager. That and a yogurt is all that I've eaten today.

I really want to start working out, but I'm such a lazy person.

I love Rufio, too. Awesome band~

Whenever I think of Rufio, I think of "Ru! Fi! Ooooooooooo!"