Monday, October 31, 2011

smile! OR ELSE

Normally I have some pretty great dreams, but lately I've been having really bad ones and they tend to follow me around all day afterwards.
Like last night I had a dream that I was working undercover as the assistant to this psycho sadistic lady who kidnaps people and makes them her slaves, and my team & I were caught (which was horrible in and of itself). Then I managed to escape after one of her "visits" to the place where she kept us, and I hitchhiked to the closest town (we were in Mexico?) and prepared as much as I could to go back and free everyone else. So I go back, get in, and I've opened the door & I'm about to go out & she's standing there, waiting for me! And to get back at me she starts mentally torturing this other girl I don't even know, and it's just awful, so I start begging and crying and making up perfectly reasonable excuses as to why I left, such as "I was just so hungry, I needed food, I needed to see trees and talk to people who aren't mentally broken" etc. etc. and so on. I was one of her "favorites", so she started to believe me a little and I wrapped myself around the crying girl and started rocking her, saying "It's alright, she won't hurt you anymore, I'm here, I'll protect you, it's alright, sshhhhh," and I was crying because I was still begging psycho lady to "Stop, please stop, don't hurt her because of me, please stop!"

I woke up almost crying.

Because I need to not have bad dreams anymore.

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