Saturday, September 1, 2012

(wow that was incredibly fast)

Just wow!
So, remember how my only concrete plans were going to school part time and figuring out how to move out & get a job?


Literally the day after I wrote all that, Lance texted me saying that they needed a taskforce cafeteria worker at our alma mater (is it our alma mater if it's high school?), which is fine by me because I was taskforce dean at Thunderbird and I'm pretty sure I'll be working less hours at MVA than I was at TAA and be getting paid aproximately the same! And still have room & board, yeah! Also I will endeavor to be not be a preachy old fogey, which shouldn't be terribly difficult but I have developed this nasty habit of mothering people which may be just as bad, we'll see.

So basically I spent this entire week jumping from incredibly happy to incredibly guilt-ridden and semi-sad, because my friend's dad/ my boss has been having a ridiculously awful week/month and so have his wife and his older daughter, and they've just been struggling with so much and it's really wearing them down and he's just so sad and tired! And it's all stuff that you can't really fix, so there's nothing I can do to help and it's just horrible! I baked him cookies, which is my go-to comfort method for just about anything, except I've never made gingersnaps before and I don't think they came out properly... ugh!

So, I'm going to move on from that because it is pointless to stress about things that cannot be solved! The most we can do is offer what comfort we can, and I've done that, so!!

On a completely unrelated note.

Does anyone else (who reads this blog...) think in music sometimes?
Like I read somewhere that people on the autism spectrum think in pictures, whereas most regular people think by hearing their thoughts?
Which is interesting, because I mostly hear my thoughts but they're also accompanied by sort of video clips sometimes, and I think part of that is dyslexia because I read someplace about something like that??? I can't remember.
But as I was saying!
I'll just be spacing out, not really thinking about anything, and then-!

Let's use some examples.
Yesterday I was really happy, and feeling good about life and how God answered my prayers, and "Joyful, Joyful" started playing in my head.
Another example.
One Christmas, I was woken especially rudely, so I was in an especially foul mood! I walked down the stairs and the first thing I saw was our bright and sparkly Christmas tree. The first line of "Your Heart Is An Empty Room" started playing- "Burn it down, til the embers smoke on the ground,"
And another!
This one was kind of awful because it was entirely by accident.
My mother asked me to make her a new mix CD for her car, and it was only after the songs were playing that I realized I had put "Far Away" by Ingrid Michaelson right next to "You Don't Know Me" by Ben Folds & Regina Spektor. WELL THEN! Subliminally passive-aggressive much?

And this just goes on almost constantly. Now, whenever a song pops into my head unbidden, I stop to examine it. What is the name of this song? The lyrics? The general mood? How does that apply to me?
It's really helpful, actually, because a lot of the time I won't know what emotion it is that I'm feeling until the song makes me confront it. I have a hard time in general figuring out complex and/or subtle emotions, so I guess this is my brain's method of helping me out!

It's just really interesting, and I was wondering if any of you guys experience this?

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