It's like I explained to Meg-
Sometimes, it feels as if there's a party in my stomach. There's loud music & everything is shaking, lights and all that jazz. There are people dancing, friends chatting it up and having a good time. It's not all fun, though. There are the loners and outcasts on the edges of the crowd, people that don't fit in or don't know how and regret showing up at all. There might be one or two inebriated folk in there as well, who knows.
Anywho, that's what I feel like right now.
So, tomorrow I go up to MVA for RA camp/ freshman orientation.
It's kinda scary, because I still don't know if I'm actually going there, and... yeah.
I'd work my butt off to go there, but only God can control what happens after that.
On a slightly less dark note...
I love the Twilight series. I'm not a late arrival, someone who just jumped onto the bandwagon to be mainstream. I read the first book like, freshman year. I liked it then, but kinda forgot about the series since New Moon hadn't been released yet. Anywho, I've read all of them except the last one. Kinda scared about it. My mother says we have it, but I can't find it. Not shocking.
Aaaaaand... People are talking to me?
Like, Kenrick Washington & Daniel Graves messaged me out of nowhere on myspace, Miles Kathan just got back from Pennsic, and Danny (DJ) Holmes showed up on DA (I told him to call, so hopefully he will).
So that's fun.
Oh, and Demetri Martin is hilarious.
I had a weird dream.
Actually, it's from a while ago, but it was a vivid dream and I want to put it here in case I ever lose the paper.
So, in the dream, everything I touch explodes or melts. I got it from my dad, who left me & my mom when I was a baby. For some reason though, I idolized him. I like, hated my mom. In one scene he was holding me, then he just set me down and said something like, "I got you good." My mom comes running and starts to cry, and I tell her to be quiet because someone's "got me" now. When I'm older (high school), my dad contacts me again out of nowhere. He says he "needs" my help with a "job". My mom doesn't know about it, so I have to sneak out. I'm walking in underground tunnels to get where he is, and when I can't find a door or something I just touch a wall and explode it to get through. I step out through one of these, and there's this huge explosion at the other end of the tunnel. My dad steps out, cool as a cucumber, and says something like, "Let's get cracking." Apparently what we start to do next was called the "zipper effect"- My mom noticed I was gone and tracked me from the trail of destruction I left after touching things, like melted hand rails and singe marks on the walls. Anywho, we start at opposite ends of the tunnel, and walk towards each other. We're running our hands on the walls, along bars like regular people do, and things start melting and exploding. I turn back to look at it all, the things I destroyed just by touching them, and it starts to really dawn on me what it means to have what I have. It was like, "Wow. I can't touch anyone, or anything." Finally we're done. My dad claps me on the back and says, "Good job," and just leaves. I follow him out, and apparently the tunnel was Hiawatha Hall, a hallway under the cafeteria of my school. I step onto the sidewalk, and Lance drives up to me in his truck. I smile & wave, but accidentally touch his truck. I panic and start freaking out at him, telling him to get out of the truck immediately, and he does (looking real confused). As we're walking on, Katie Schuen starts to harass me as to why I wanted him out of the truck- I try making up excuses and she cuts them down, and I'm about to break down and start crying when Lance starts to defend me, talking about how he trusts his friends. He walks off and I follow him. Apparently there's some sort of platypus seal pack on campus, a platypus seal being like an elephant seal except with a platypus beak and furry like a platypus. Lance and I were talking about them when one runs up behind me and bites my butt! I heard that to stop them from being too friendly you have to bop them on the beak & say "NO" so I do, but it doesn't help and he keeps following me. I end up just scratching its back, but his wife (yes, platypus seals have marriage) sees me and starts complaining to her friend (or hairdresser, whichever) about it. I'm trying not to laugh because the whole thing is absurd. Platypus seals and their marriages, having hairdressers and me being able to understand them talking... Anywho, the seal wife's friend comes up & asks me if it's true that I was having an affair but I tell her no & show her that I was just scratching his back, so I scratch hers & she calls the wife over so I can scratch her back and now we're all friends and everything. They go away & I go back to talking to Lance, when a crowd starts to notice that the platypus seal I was petting earlier was getting sick, red bumps and all that jazz. His wife & her hairdresser are trying to help, but then start getting sick too & they're getting worse and everyone's crowding around them trying to find out what's wrong, and I'm following the crowd because I was afraid to go up by myself, thinking that someone would catch on & blame it one me; suddenly I get the feeling that it's about to get real ugly, and I drag everyone I know away from it, and while we're walking away I turn around & there's this huge pause and I think it's going to be ok but then I hear this terrible sound and I can see blood splatter everywhere and people are screaming, someone just threw up- most of the people are looking away, but one person just stares at me funny and I hurry away. I look at my hands, and realize that the gloves I'd been wearing had been incinerated.